Election Recovery
8 Ways to Navigate a Divisive Election using Holistic Principles
Not sure if you guys are aware but a thing happened on two Tuesdays ago - and unless you live under a rock deep in the Amazon you are now aware that Donald Trump is the President Elect of the United States. Depending on your perspective, your feelings about this could range from anxious, to excited, fearful to hopeful, and everything in between and beyond . . . and you are entitled to those feelings . . . and we at HoliHhub relate to all of them and none of them - addiction and recovery is non-partisan and crosses the aisle of politics like few other things do, sports being one of them…
We want you to remember that whether your candidate won or lost, we are all on the same team (we were just voting for who will be captain) and we are all capable of handling these feelings with integrity and grace (and should aspire to do so).
Similar to recovery, politics is complex and there are different pathways to approach it. Some choose to vote, some choose not to, some are incredibly passionate, others angry, some are existential and pessimistic and other’s curious. Either way, we all have our ways and reasons, and we’re not as terrible as the media (or social media) makes us think, feel, or act.
Taking cues from Holistic Recovery, here are some principles that I am leaning into:
Acceptance
Acceptance is a big part of recovering from everything from a sports injury to substance abuse - accepting that there are things in life you have control over and some things you don’t. We each had control over whether we voted (which, btw is the price of admissionfor the right to complain or gloat about the result, no vote = no opinion = STFU) and who we voted for - BUT the RESULT is out of our hands and I guarantee you (and am taking bets if you disagree and want to wager) that there will be another chance to elect another psychopath in 4 years (just my opinion but who in their right mind would want that job).
Accepting what I can’t control provides me with the bandwidth to focus on the things I CAN control instead of being overwhelmed by the sheer breadth of what I can’t. The election results are set - but you can control what you do now - is there an issue you are concerned about - now’s a great time to work on it!
Humility
Have you ever been wrong? Me neither! But I can IMAGINE that at some point in my life it will happen and WHAT IF that time is now. And this goes both ways - what if Trump ends up being the best version of himself and surprises many and actually does GOOD for our country? Or, conversely, if you supported Trump, what if he ends up being everything that you wish he wasn’t? The truth of the matter is that nobody knows what will happen so how about we move forward tenderly, not dunking on the democrats as loser commies or cast all republicans as abhorrent [insert “ism” here] (fascism,racism, sexism, etc.ism) because here’s the truth - YOU MIGHT BE WRONG and to think otherwise is the pinnacle of arrogance.
Hope
Imagine if we gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, assuming the best of intentions instead of the worst - I know that's silly, naive and unrealistic too. But here’s the good part, our nation’s founders and our constitution are absolutely brilliant (take it from a lawyer) and were specifically built to prevent tyranny (which makes sense since they were rebelling against the KING of England). They worked in 2020 so that we had a transfer of power and they will work again so long as we don’t blow up the system.
Compassion
Have you had traumatic experiences that shaped your perspective and informed which way you voted? So have others. Are you more complex and nuanced than which party you voted for? Yeah, me too. I don’t think anyone agrees with everything their candidate promotes. Do you want to be judged by the worst decision you’ve made? Me neither. Remember, statistically we all agree on 80% of the issues and we are all looking at the other 20% through the lens of our unique experience that nobody else has had. Be compassionate in realizing that everybody is doing the best they can with the information they have to make the lives of themselves and their loved ones better - a respectable goal even if you disagree with how it's done. And also, neither side is the “end of democracy” so just stop with that divisive BS.
Boundaries
Be empowered to articulate and enforce boundaries with friends. I have friends, close friends for 20+ years, and we agree to disagree and NOT TALK ABOUT CERTAIN ISSUES, you know why? Because what underlies our friendship is that neither of us are horrible fucking people even if we disagree vehemently about an issue or world conflict. We give each other the benefit of the doubt kind of like “my friend X is a good person (or else we wouldn't be friends), but I feel that anyone who votes for Y or believes Y is the WORST person, BUT X believes Y, so maybe just maybe it's a complicated issue and just because you believe Y doesn't make you a bad person. I’m a NY Mets fan, I have tons of friends who are Philadelphia Phillies fans (tough end of the season you Philthy Animals JK;). We don’t bring up baseball everytime we hang out (yes, I know it’s not the same thing - but PHI/NY sports rivalries are intense so . . . same same but different)
Support
There’s nothing wrong with cocooning for a few days and resting your head on the shoulder of friends who have similar feelings to this election as you do, but if they are warning you of “doomsday” then they are not supporting you (supporters lift you up) they are just dragging you down (misery loves company) so choose wisely.
Solutions
Stay in the solution, your side lost, lick your wounds and then get back up and take steps and be part of the solution, there’s another big election in 2 years and an even bigger one in 4, start working towards your goals NOW.
Gratitude
It is an honor to participate in the election, to have a voice and a vote. Those of us who have this freedom do have much to be grateful for.
Yet, we cannot deny that these are trying and troubling times in many ways. My hope for you—for us—this week is to remember these tips, to stand firm, and to re-center when needed. We can apply these principles of recovery to overcome this or any other divisive election.
As in recovery, so too with this election - we can get through anything together.
